I never thought I’d see the day when gang activity reached our beloved city of Cleveland. Like all things pure and worthy, our fair town is the target of the newest threat to civil order. That’s right, the Hawkings©. Well, at least that’s what I’m calling them. The Hawkings© want nothing more than to spread fear among the elderly, and to impregnate our daughters. Their insidious filth can be seen all around Cleveland. I managed to capture these two pictures on my camera as I drove by. As far as I can tell, the Hawkings© appear to be some sort of neo-nerd cult. These images seem to indicate that they prefer the Empire to the Rebel Alliance, although how they can support an entity which was defeated by the Ewoks, I can’t understand.

Gangs of Cleveland

(Storm Troopers)

Gangs of Cleveland

(Imperial Symbols)

It’s sad that we can’t even get cool gangs in Cleveland. What are these guys’ initiation rites? Do you have to be able to recite the entire epilogue from Empire Strikes Back? Be able to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs? Withstand being thrown into a sarlacc? Seriously, where do I sign up?

I’d like to see if anyone else has seen these around town, so, if you live in Cleveland, I hereby offer a prize, the substance of which to be determined later, for anyone who can send me a picture of other Hawkings© tagged items found in Cleveland. Now, I don’t condone defacing public property, this is for informational purposes only, and I promise that the prize won’t be worth going to jail or paying a fine over. So don’t tag anything yourself. You can send your stuff to me at: kstover[at]lifepointchurch[dot]tv. I’ll post the winners here. Let the hunt begin!