Goodbye is almost always painful. It embodies everything we hate about relationships. It means change. A depart from the familiar. And usually a void left behind. There is an article over at churchmarketingsucks.com that deals with church members saying goodbye. Maybe they leave for another church. Maybe they leave because you aren’t “meeting their needs”. Maybe they just decide that this whole God thing isn’t for them. Regardless of the reason, when people leave, it hurts. The post does a great job of talking about why people leave and some ways of handling it. As Pastors, I know our first reaction is to try and figure out “why” someone left. (Especially if they are tithers.) Sometimes we want to know so that we can convince them to stay. Sometimes so that we can see if it is really a mistake on our part. Sometimes, very rarely, we’re happy when people decide to leave. Looking at the post at Church Marketing Sucks, you can see that there are people much more qualified to talk about how to handle people leaving.

I’m pretty new to this whole “pastorâ€? thing and don’t claim to know everything. I can only speak from what little personal experience I’ve gathered. If you want the advice of a “seasoned veteranâ€?, check out some of the links on the Church Marketing Sucks post. Here I’m only going to tell you about some people very close to me saying “goodbyeâ€?. Last Sunday one of the “founding families” of LifePoint decided that it was time for them to move on. These weren’t just Sunday morning attendees; they helped run children’s church, gave faithfully and are my in-laws. Talk about painful goodbyes. Not only did the church suffer, but the church, which is a major part of my life, is now something that can’t really be discussed with my wife’s parents.

How are my wife and I going to handle talking to her parents about the church in the future? Who knows? Sometimes people just need to go, and you need to let them go. Even if they are extremely close. As a wise man once said:

You have to hold the vision tightly, and people loosely.

You can’t make people stay. Even family. Another wise man once said:

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; (Matthew 10:37 NIV)